Week 3 updates continued

Another difficult time is when the baby wakes up shortly after being put down in her bed (from being held or rocked to sleep by the caretaker). This happens often during the day time which renders the caretaker to be held hostage by the baby. This happened last night since 5:30 am until I was relieved by my mom who arrived at 9 am. Needless to say, it was a rough and annoying morning and boy did I need my make-up nap from 9 am to 11:30 am. The other nap that I usually take is mid day from 4-5 pm. The other day I experimented with forgoing that afternoon nap and that made get really tired by 7 pm. I am thankful for my mom who can help watch / feed the baby while I nap and also prepare meals for me.

On a positive note, when I am feeling restful and content, I am really enjoying my baby girl. I look forward to times when I get to hold her while nursing. A feeling of excitement and happiness overcomes me and I can't help smiling at this angel that I get to call my own.

Week 3 updates

As of Sept 24, baby Allison is 3 weeks old! We can definitely see that she is growing bigger. Feeding time in general is noticeably easier now that she doesn't fall asleep while feeding like she used to.

Night time feeding has gotten a lot easier due to several possible reasons. 1) We started using this straitjacket, err, SwaddleMe outfit which has velcro tabs to secure the tightness in place. The logic I think is that if/when she wakes up slightly, her body won't move around too much as to fully wake her up. 2) I moved her from sleeping in our room to her own room, so that I get up to feed her only when I hear her cry for real, as opposed to the noise she makes before the real cry that I used to respond to. Waiting for her to cry works because a) I'll know she really is hungry whereas the other noise could have just been b/c of something else which she might have gone back to sleep on her own b) crying means she wakes herself up and wants to feed, as opposed to me "bothering her" while she was sleeping. The problem I had before was that while feeding in the middle of the night, she would not eat enough and would cry hysterically because she wants to go back to sleep.

Lately, she has been behaving really well. Less hysterical crying, more calmness. Perhaps it's because we are getting more familiar with her and know better how to take care of her (feed/clean/rock to sleep) before she gets to the hysterical state. Of course if we don't do what she wants fast enough, she gets hysterical. The harder times are when she still cries even though we have done all that we can think of (at which we then resort to a pacifier). During the day, she wants to be held, which makes sense for a newborn. Also, I'm pleased that I figured out a way to rock her to sleep that she responds to - hold her tightly on her side facing my body, one hand under her, supporting her neck, and one hand over her, supporting her bottom + walking around. The natural bounce in my step reminds her of when she was inside my womb while I was walking.

Sometimes, she'll sleep for a 4 hour stretch during the night, which is great. One time, I got a 6 hour stretch, which is unbelievable for a newborn! Right now I am doing everything on demand and wonder how I/she will transition to a schedule based routine.

I love how she looks like a little person in pants :)

Lee family photos

Splish splash

On Sept 21, we gave baby girl her first water bath. This is something that first time parents generally get nervous about because, since babies can be wriggly with water and soap, the chances of the baby slipping into the water can be high and dangerous. However, our experience was not too bad, due to the fact that the baby bathtub we have has a sling designed for newborns to rest on. The baby really did not slide on it so she was able to sit pretty tight while we cleaned her with a wet towel, soap, and warm water. It also helped that the whole visiting family (total of 7 people) was around to provide helping hands.

First cousins

On Sept 20-21, first cousins from the Nguyen side of the family finally got to meet. After months of anticipation built up, Alyna from Florida finally got to meet baby Allison in NYC, and she loved it! Alyna is a great cousin; she helped to change her diaper, feed her, and play with her. She has also handed down many clothes and toys =D

This is going to be a start of a beautiful cousin-ship :)

I love how Alyna is always ready with her arms in position to hold her :) 

Reflections

Many times during the first week, Tom and I would remark to each other how we can't believe that we have a daughter, a child, a baby.. and that this precious bundle that lays before us is actually ours. We are loving her size (so tiny), her grunts (lol) and her facial expressions, whether intentional (grimace) or unintentional (smiles, laughs during sleep). We are so thankful to God for this gift and we hope that we can be good stewards of this living creature. We want to enjoy every moment and be flexible, not taking things too seriously and also to value the more important things in life. I personally look forward to seeing her grow and how her personality will develop. Lastly, we are thankful for our family and friends who will journey with us and help raise this child because it does take a village.

Lazing about

Grandmas

I love my Grandmas and my Grandmas love me

New milestone

On Sun, 9/15, less than 2 weeks old, Allison's umbilical cord stump stump fell off as Tom was attempting skin to skin time, in tummy time mode. The baby surprised us both when she lifted her head to see daddy! We were so impressed by her strength to lift her head so high like that :)

The babymoon is over

As some have told me, the first week or so is easy. That has definitely been the case with Allison; she would feed for a good amount of time (30 mins) and sleep for 2-3 hour stretches during the day and 4 hours at night! Lately though, after the first week, her feedings have been around 10, sometimes 15 minutes, and night time feeding intervals have shortened to 1 - 2 hours in between. I think part of it may be that since she sleeps in a bassinet in our room, I can hear her start to whimper and proactively pick her up to feed her. She "sleep eats" and is not actively alert while feeding. Then when she gets woken up during feeding, she gets hysterical because she wants to go back to sleep, which thus shortens the current feeding time. I'm going to try something different and that is to wait until she really cries to be fed; this way she is woken up by her cries, will actively feed, and will hopefully fall asleep on her own when she is done.

The other thing that has been going on is that I find her to be fussy in the late evenings (9 pm) where she won't go to sleep even though she should. I may have to start going on a schedule based approach with eat/sleep. I know that evening fussiness is normal but it still doesn't make me feel better.

Nursery

1 week checkup

We took Allison to her pediatrician for her 1 week checkup on Sept 9. She has been doing great! Her original birth weight was 7 lb 2 oz. It went down to 7 lb during the hospital stay but after 1 week, it is up to 7 lb 8 oz! That means that she gained weight, which is not usually the case with newborns! The ped confirmed that her eat, sleep, poop factors are good. He confirmed that what I have been doing is good - that is - during the day, feed every 2 - 3 hours (waking her up if I have to) and during the night, wait for her cue to feed (so that if her sleep stretches to 4 hours then so be it).

She got a Hep B vaccination shot and cried so loud it hurt me to see :( But I soothed her and she stopped crying shortly after. Getting the shot caused her to be more sleepy than normal that day. I don't look forward to future visits when she'll be getting 6+ vaccination shots!

First week at home

Things have been going pretty well so far. For the most part, Allison has been an easy going baby. When she cries, it's for a valid reason; we just may not know what it is and have to figure it out. So far, reasons that we've had to figure out the hard way are: it's too cold; she doesn't want to eat anymore and just wants to sleep; she's not comfortable in the current feeding position; she has a gas bubble and needs to be burped.

Eat - she's had a great latch from the beginning and I haven't had any issues with dry or cracked nipples. My milk came in around day 4 so I have been exclusively breastfeeding since then. Before then, we supplemented with the instant formula we got from the hospital since she didn't seem to be full on colostrum alone.

Sleep - Allison sleeps a lot!! That is notorious for newborns. At the beginning of settling in at home, she would sleep for 4 hours stretches at night which is amazing, but for the past few days, it's been 2-3 hours because the feeding time has been shorter. It has to do with the common problem I've been having which is that she keeps falling asleep while feeding. I think that this change has to do with the fact that I put in less effort to wake her up when she falls asleep because I'm so tired myself that I want to just put her back down when she falls asleep. I have to try harder to make sure she gets enough food at each nursing session. I look forward to this sleepy phase passing. I love it when she is alert during feeding with both eyes open; it brings me great joy that I can provide this nourishing milk for her.

Poop - Her urine and stool output has been very good according to the recommended guidelines (8+/day). This means that she is getting enough food through breast milk alone. Her poop is mustardy with seeds! I wonder where the seeds come from.

As for me and my energy level, it's been good. I sleep every other time she sleeps. When I feel tired, I listen to my body and take a nap. I am very thankful to have my mom around to help with the household and to provide cooked meals for me. Tom has been home too and helps take care of diaper changes and soothing the baby. We still can't believe that we have a child now; we are really enjoying her and love how tiny she is.
Sometimes she smiles while sleeping which just melts our hearts!

Recovery

It's been over a week since I gave birth and I'm very happy to say that I am recovering well. Recovery is different for each person but for me personally, I didn't have any abdominal pain afterwards and therefore didn't have to take pain killers; swelling down there improved after 2 days thanks to ice packs, and the stitches from the episiotomy cut, which made me have to be very careful with sitting down and leg movements, is thankfully getting better and better each day (takes 2 weeks). My upper thighs were sore the first 4 days due to the 2 hour pushing position; this made it hard to walk around without hobbling, but that has gotten much better too. All in all it has been very good and I am thankful for that.

A quick note about gestational diabetes.. now that I don't have it anymore, I'm free to eat whatever I want. Surprisingly, I didn't crave all those carbs and sweets that I did while I was pregnant. It just goes to show that I just want what I can't have. -_-

Also, about the baby, thankfully she passed all her glucose tolerance tests on the first day and was able to room in with me in my recovery room since 1 pm on the day she was born. This was one of my main concerns (that the baby would not be hypoglycemic and that I would get quality time with her). Rooming in really allowed me to learn hands on how to take care of a newborn. The nurses and aids were around to help me if I needed it but we are supposed to use that opportunity to learn. Since the hospital doesn't allow the father to stay overnight in a semi-private room, I was alone with the baby for 2 nights. The first night was rough but it helped build some confidence. I did send her to the nursery from 5 am - 8 am just so that I can get some sleep but I felt so guilty the next morning that I didn't do that again. The second night was better.

Labor & Delivery

With any major procedure, there are risks that certain things could go wrong. Some of the risks that I feared were things that could results in a c-section (labor taking too long (> 24 hrs), baby going into distress) or the epidural not being inserted correctly such that it would cause bad side effects. While having a c-section isn't the end of the world, it would have meant a longer recovery time.

The evening of Sunday, Sept 1, was the last full night of sleep I would have in a while. I wasn't too nervous about what would happen the next day. It's because I really didn't know what to expect therefore it was hard for me to conceptualize. The best way to explain this is like going on a trip to a destination you have only heard or read about. For me, the thought of being there doesn't even begin to sink in until I'm at the airport; that is, after all the logistics of packing, getting to the airport, making arrangements, etc. Even while at the airport, there's still a long waiting period until I finally reach my destination. Then the excitement can really start. 

We arrive at the hospital on Tues, Sept 2 at 10:30 am. After all the logistics of signing in, paper work, being checked and prepped, I was induced at 1 pm with the medicine called Cervidil. I wasn't allowed to eat solids anymore so as the hours passed, I got weaker. I was encouraged to walk around since that will speed up labor, but I could only do so for up to 15 minutes because I was so weak. For the remaining duration of the day, I saw little signs of progress. I did have lower back pain and a little bleeding, which is a good sign meaning that my cervix was opening. However I didn't feel any major contractions and was worried that labor might take much longer than the average 15 hrs which may require further intervention. Closer to 12 am midnight, I had 2 contractions which hurt and then another 2 which really hurt. By then I was ready to get any help that I could (drugs) but it could only be done if there has been progress. At 1 am the next day (12 hours later from being induced), I was checked by the PA and hooray, I was 3.5 cm dilated! I called for the epidural right away and that was inserted without too much trouble, thanks to the numbing agent. 

By 4 am (only 3 hours later) I was 9 cm dilated!! Only 1 more 1 cm to go and I would be ready to deliver. The staff called my doctor, who instructed them to manually break my water (not much gushed out).

It took until 6:30 am for me to get to 10 cm. From then on I pushed for 2 whole hours. I had no idea what pushing would be like. With each contraction, I had to take a deep breath and push really hard as if having a bowel movement. This had to be done 3 times for each contraction, which happens every few minutes. There were times I pushed effectively (concentrated down there), and times that I did not (concentrated in my face). I think 2 hours was longer than what it could have been but I am still proud of how I did. Tom was there the whole time encouraging me. 

The final push, at 8:40 am, which I thought would never come, was such a relief. I felt the baby's head come out and then the rest of the body. They placed her on a sterile paper right on my stomach, took her to be cleaned, and then because I was still on the bed for post-processing, Tom got to hold her first. The baby's first cry was good, but what surprised us the most is that she didn't cry much afterwards! As Tom held her, both eyes were open, she was alert, and was totally calm. It was amazing. After I was done with the placenta removal and being stitched up from the episiotomy cut, I got to hold her and start breastfeeding. She had a great latch from the very beginning :)

So all in all, I had a 17 hour labor, of which 2 hours was pushing. It was a vaginal delivery with epidural and a preemptive episiotomy cut.

Shortly after birth, still in the labor and delivery room. 

Pregnancy photos

Here are some pictures we took today @40 weeks. Thanks to Melinda for taking the pics ;-)

Gestational Diabetes... the bane of my existence

GD has been a pain in my *** for the last 2.5 months ever since I found out min-June @ 28 weeks that I had failed the second glucose tolerance test (the 3 hr one). GD happens during pregnancy and means that my body (specifically the placenta) is not able to produce the right amount of insulin to counter the amount of sugar in my blood. To counter this, I have to control my intake of carbs and sugar in order to keep the blood sugar at acceptable levels, otherwise the risk is that 1) the baby can grow too big which increases the chance of having to do a c-section 2) the baby will have to produce too much insulin 3) the baby will be too used to getting all that sugar through me that when he/she is born, will go into shock from now being cut off (hypoglycemic). The scariest risk is that if mother's blood sugar is not controlled, the baby can die.

In order to keep my GD under control, I have to test my blood sugar level 4 time a day: 1 in the morning when I wake up (known as the fasting time), and 2 hours after each breakfast, lunch and dinner). To be in control is defined as having a score under the acceptable threshold. I have to keep a log of what I ate and what my score was, and see a nutritionist every 1 or 2 weeks. With my specific case, I was able to control my after meal sugar levels with diet (i.e. no simple carbs or sweets). However, my fasting numbers were higher than the acceptable threshold and there is nothing I can do to help it since I am literally sleeping, so I take a small dosage of a medicine called glyburide which helped. I was glad that I did not have to take insulin because that would require me to inject myself everyday.

By far the toughest thing about GD was the diet. No carbs or sweets meant no breads, sandwiches, cakes, desserts, ice cream, candy, rice, potato, sweet drinks. Gah! It was really hard because carbs/sugar is everywhere! Rice/noodle is a huge part of Asian food, hello! The temptation for sweets was strong at time and every now and then I would break the rules and give in to my temptations with undesired consequences. Poor baby. Tom has been a good support partner to me, making sure I stick to what I should, making sure I get fed, and not letting me go overboard when I do allow myself some indulgences.

Different people have different reactions to different types of carbs. For me, it was the white rices/noodle/bread/potatoes that would spike up my sugar levels. Also some sweet fruit. Even replacing white rice with brown rice didn't help me much. So the trick is to each very small amounts. Or spread them out throughout the day (like eat fruit 2 hours after the meal). Also, stress affects blood sugar level too. I will be so glad to be able to eat these things when this pregnancy is over. I even made a list of specific things I want to have when it is over:

• rice noodles (ho-fun) freshly made from this place in Elmhurst
• McDonald's soft serve ice cream and baked apple pie
• Wendy's chocolate frosty
• Twix candy (this is going in my hospital bag!)
• cheesecake
• polenta
• mac n cheese
• sweet potato fries
• panini sandwich
• e-fu noodles (the one with mushrooms from a fancy Chinese restaurant)

The only positive thing I have to say about GD is that since it forced me to control my diet, I didn't gain more weight than I would have. I still can't go too overboard when this is over because I think this came from family genes but at least I can enjoy a little more. 

9 months of pregnancy summarized

Where do I begin? Well, today, 9/1/13, is actually the estimated due date for the baby that is living inside my belly right now. And tomorrow, I am going to the hospital to induce my labor. Normally, one can wait 1-2 weeks before medical intervention is taken because the due date is just an estimation, and baby make want to take longer to "bake" (or the other way around, decide he/she is done 1-2 weeks earlier). Because I have gestational diabetes (GD), it is not recommended to go past the due date because staying in there longer can pose more risks. More on GD later. 

Anyway, if I had to summarize this pregnancy, I would say that it has been pretty good, even with GD. I didn't have any nausea or cravings, weight gain has been pretty steady and normal (27 lbs total gain), ultrasounds on the baby showed that all the body parts were in good shape and baby's growth size has been on normal track (estimated 7 lbs 8 oz). The 2 major tests at the beginning, Level 1 sono (@ 3months) and Level 2 sono (@ 4 months) which gives the probability of the baby having birth defects, gave us extremely good results, something which we were very anxious about. Just to give you an idea: 

• The cut off point for the risk of getting Down Syndrome is 1 in 270. So if I got a number less than 270, the baby would have a high chances of getting that. Our results were 1 in 38,500. 
• The cut off point for the risk of getting Trisomy 18 is 1 in 100. This is actually what got us last time. Our results this time was <1 in 10,000. 
• The cut off point for the risk of getting Open Spina Bifida is 1 in 104. Our results were 1 in 1790. 

We sincerely give all glory and praise to God for this gift of life that He has created and sustained in good health so far. 

hello world

Mary here. this is my first post of what I hope will be a meaningful blog - one in which I can share my hopes, dreams, fears, and joys in this new journey I am about to embark on with my husband, Tom. Why have a blog, you might ask? I'm usually more private about my personal life (especially at work) but through past experiences, I've come to realize that we can't just isolate ourselves. In fact, we are all part of a community (whether intentional of not) and through the sharing of our lives we can depend on each other for encouragement and support. My hope for this blog is to 1) share with others what I am going through to get support 2) to articulate my thoughts and feelings with more depth than I could if I were asked in person "how are things going"? 3) to give insight to those who have not yet gone through this life experience yet and 4) to share all things baby Lee to friends and family who are far away from us.

Maybe Tom will be a guest writer on this blog as well. Now on to the good stuff.